Ricki Lake recently opened up about the emotional journey she faced while married to her late ex-husband, Christian Evans, who struggled with bipolar disorder. In a heartfelt interview, Lake shared the challenges of trying to help him through his mental health battles, particularly his psychotic breaks, before his tragic suicide in 2017.
Lake admitted that she initially didn’t fully understand the impact of bipolar disorder, which made it even more challenging to support Evans during his struggles. Despite her efforts to bring him to doctors and provide assistance, she found herself feeling helpless in the face of his worsening condition.
Her experience highlights the complexities of living with someone who has a serious mental illness and the emotional toll it takes on both the individual and their loved ones. In sharing her story, Lake hopes to raise awareness about mental health and the challenges of coping with a loved one’s mental health crisis.
The Beginning of Ricki Lake and Christian Evans’ Relationship
Ricki Lake and Christian Evans first met in 2010 through a mutual friend. Despite their nontraditional first meeting, which involved a medical journey with ayahuasca, the couple’s connection was immediate. Lake described Evans as “super magical,” and their relationship quickly blossomed. They became engaged in 2011 and eloped in 2012. Their bond, built on love and admiration, seemed strong despite the challenges that lay ahead. But what started as a dream relationship slowly turned into a journey fraught with mental health struggles.
Christian Evans’ Battle with Bipolar Disorder
Christian Evans was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mental health condition characterized by extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and depressive lows. Lake admitted that when Evans was first diagnosed, she didn’t fully understand the severity of bipolar disorder. Like many people unfamiliar with the condition, she was shocked when Evans started experiencing psychotic breaks.
“I didn’t understand what bipolar disorder meant at first,” Lake admitted during an emotional discussion at End Well’s annual symposium in November 2024. She went on to explain how Evans’ struggles with bipolar disorder progressively worsened. For Lake, it was almost more shocking to witness his transformation into someone she barely recognized than it was to deal with his ultimate death.
Ricki Lake’s Efforts to Help Her Husband
Throughout their relationship, Ricki Lake did everything she could to support Evans in his battle with bipolar disorder. She recalls going to great lengths to get him the help he needed, bringing him to doctors, and trying to assist him in managing his mental health. But as much as she tried, she was unable to “fix” him. Despite her love and efforts, the challenge of living with someone experiencing such intense mental health struggles was overwhelming. Lake openly acknowledged that she felt like she had failed Evans because she couldn’t save him.
“I went to great lengths to save him; I did everything I could in my power to bring him to the doctor to get him help,” Lake explained. The difficulty of watching someone you love struggle with a mental health condition, especially when you feel powerless to make a difference, is something many families face.
The Impact of the First Psychotic Break
Lake recounted the first psychotic break Evans had, which occurred four years into their relationship. This moment was pivotal in their lives. “It was almost more shocking seeing him turn into another person than his ultimate death,” Lake recalled. The change in Evans was so profound that it marked the beginning of a long and challenging chapter in their marriage. It was clear that the disease had taken control of Evans in ways Lake couldn’t have anticipated.
The Second Psychotic Break and Tragic Loss
Unfortunately, the second psychotic break came two years after the first. The toll that these episodes took on both Evans and Lake was immense. After years of trying to manage his bipolar disorder and keep him safe, Evans tragically died by suicide in February 2017. Lake described the aftermath of his death as emotionally overwhelming, and the pain of losing someone she loved so profoundly lingered.
Despite all her efforts, Lake could not change the course of Evans’ battle with bipolar disorder. His death left her feeling heartbroken and lost, but she continued to speak about him with love and reverence, sharing how much he meant to her and how his love impacted her life.
The Aftermath: Ricki Lake’s Struggles with Grief
After Evans’ death, Ricki Lake struggled deeply with grief. The guilt of not being able to save him haunted her. She felt as though she had failed in her mission to help him and provide him with the support he needed. In addition to the overwhelming sadness, Lake also had to contend with the frustration of not being able to change the course of Evans’ mental health issues.
“I’m a manifester; I get s–t done,” she said, referring to her proactive nature. “And when it came to fixing him, I couldn’t fix him, I couldn’t save him.” This moment of self-reflection underscores how difficult it can be for loved ones to accept that mental health conditions often can’t be “fixed” in the way they hope.
Healing and Acceptance: A New Chapter with Ross Burningham
After Christian Evans’ death, Ricki Lake eventually found love again. She married Ross Burningham, and the two have built a life together. While she remains deeply affected by the loss of her first husband, she has also embraced the lessons learned from loving and losing him. Lake has emphasized how this experience has shaped her into the best version of herself, acknowledging that her pain and loss have taught her important life lessons.
“What I can say is through loving and losing him, I’m the best version of myself because of the way he loved me,” she shared. For Lake, losing Evans has been painful, but it has also been transformative. It has taught her how to love more deeply and appreciate life more fully.
Continuing Evans’ Legacy
Ricki Lake continues to honor the memory of her late ex-husband by speaking about him openly. She has dedicated herself to keeping his memory alive, primarily through her work in raising awareness about mental health and the struggles faced by those with bipolar disorder. She believes that through the love she shared with Evans, she has become a better person, someone who is more aware of the complexities of mental illness and the importance of compassion.
“I feel like I’ve learned so many lessons, so much about love, and how we’re still connected and that they’re not gone,” Lake said. “But he had to leave for me to have this beautiful, abundant life that I appreciate every day.”
The Importance of Mental Health Awareness
Ricki Lake’s story highlights the importance of understanding mental health conditions, particularly bipolar disorder, and the struggles that come with them. Mental health challenges can affect anyone, regardless of their status or background. Society must continue to raise awareness and provide support for those who are affected by mental illnesses, as well as for their loved ones.
Lake’s openness about her experience helps to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and serves as a reminder that even those who seem strong on the outside can be struggling on the inside. Her willingness to share her pain and her journey of healing can serve as a source of comfort for others going through similar challenges.
Resources for Suicide Prevention and Mental Health Support
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or mental health challenges, help is available. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 988, offering confidential support for anyone in distress. It’s important to know that you are not alone and that help is just a phone call away.
Mental health struggles are incredibly challenging, but with the proper support, individuals can begin to heal and find hope. We must continue to prioritize mental health and work toward breaking down the stigma surrounding it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is bipolar disorder, and how does it affect individuals?
Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by extreme mood swings, including emotional highs (mania) and depressive lows. These fluctuations can significantly affect an individual’s behavior, energy levels, and ability to function in daily life.
What are psychotic breaks, and how do they relate to bipolar disorder?
Psychotic breaks are episodes where an individual loses touch with reality, often experiencing hallucinations or delusions. These breaks can occur in people with bipolar disorder during manic or depressive phases, making it more challenging to manage their condition.
How can loved ones support someone with bipolar disorder?
Supporting someone with bipolar disorder involves providing emotional support, encouraging treatment, and helping them manage their symptoms. It’s also important to be patient and understanding while maintaining healthy boundaries.
What are the common signs of a psychotic break?
Signs of a psychotic break include sudden changes in behavior, delusions, hallucinations, confusion, and an inability to distinguish between what’s real and what isn’t. These episodes may require immediate medical attention.
How can I understand bipolar disorder better?
Learning more about the symptoms, treatment options, and coping strategies associated with bipolar disorder can help increase understanding. Speaking to mental health professionals or reading resources on the condition can provide valuable insights.
What should I do if someone I know is considering suicide?
If someone expresses thoughts of suicide, it’s crucial to take them seriously. Encourage them to seek professional help immediately, stay with them if possible, and contact a mental health professional or a suicide prevention hotline for support.
What resources are available for those dealing with bipolar disorder?
There are several resources for those struggling with bipolar disorder, including therapy, medication, and support groups. National helplines like the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988) offer immediate assistance and guidance.
How can I cope with grief after losing a loved one to suicide?
Coping with grief after a suicide can be overwhelming, and it’s essential to seek professional counseling, connect with support groups, and allow yourself time to heal. Speaking openly about your feelings can help you process the loss.
What are some common misconceptions about bipolar disorder?
One common misconception is that people with bipolar disorder are always either “manic” or “depressed,” when, in fact, their mood swings can vary in intensity and duration. Another misconception is that the condition is easily manageable, while it often requires ongoing treatment and support.
How can we break the stigma around mental health conditions like bipolar disorder?
Breaking the stigma around mental health involves open conversations, increasing awareness, and promoting understanding. Supporting those with mental health conditions, as well as educating others, can help reduce misconceptions and create a more compassionate environment for individuals seeking help.
Conclusion
Ricki Lake’s journey with Christian Evans has been filled with heartache and triumph. While she could not save her late ex-husband from the devastating effects of bipolar disorder, she has turned her grief into an opportunity for growth. Her story serves as a reminder of the complexities of mental health, the importance of seeking help, and the power of love in the face of tragedy.
Ricki Lake’s continued efforts to keep Evans’ memory alive and her willingness to share her story offer hope to others who may be struggling with similar experiences. Her message is clear: even in the face of loss, it is possible to find healing, growth, and a renewed appreciation for life.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, reaching out for support can make all the difference. Let’s continue to raise awareness and foster a more compassionate society for those who are fighting their battles silently.
